The Catalog
Every product below is genuinely imported from somewhere and exported to somewhere else. Descriptions reflect all the detail our paperwork allowed us to include.
SKU 0001
Generic Item
A thing. Beige. Dimensions unknown, weight approximately “some.”
SKU 0002
Crate of Contents
We opened one. We're not entirely sure we want to know.
SKU 0003
Export-Grade Box
Marked “FRAGILE” and “THIS SIDE UP” on all six sides, just in case.
SKU 0004
The Import
Origin: a port. Destination: another port. Purpose: circular.
SKU 0005
Merchandise (Unspecified)
It arrives in a warehouse. We have a warehouse. This counts.
SKU 0006
Vandelay Proprietary Stuff
Our best seller. Investors love it because they cannot audit it.
SKU 0007
Transit Pallet, Sealed
Ships to “overseas,” whatever that means in this context.
SKU 0008
Red Tape (Literal)
The only product we can verify exists. Comes in a roll.
Quarterly Shipment Report
Figures independently unaudited. Direction of travel: east, or so we are told.
| Product | Imported | Exported | Destination | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Generic Item | 400 | 398 | Unknown | Reconciling |
| Crate of Contents | 12 | 12 | The same place, allegedly | Circular |
| Export-Grade Box | 1,200 | 1,200 | Abroad | Nominally sound |
| The Import | 60 | 60 | To be determined | In transit |
| Merchandise (Unspecified) | “A lot” | “Some” | Various | Unverifiable |
| Red Tape | 1 roll | 1 roll | Head office | Excellent |