Privacy Policy
Effective: yesterday, retroactively. Last updated: the day before that.
At Vandelay Industries, we respect your privacy. This policy explains what personal data we collect, how we use it, and — critically — how we forget it.
1. What We Collect
If you use our contact form, we collect your name, your email address, and whatever you chose from the dropdown. We do not collect your browsing history, your location, or your sense of impending doubt. We do not sell your data. We occasionally import data, however, and the data does not always export again.
2. How We Use It
We use your information to answer your message, or to look very impressive while deciding not to. We do not use it for automated decision-making. Our decision-making is manual, intuitive, and conducted in a suit.
3. Cookies & Tracking
This site sets no cookies. It imports none and exports none. The only thing that tracks anything at Vandelay Industries is our founder's tie.
4. Data Retention
We retain your information for as long as it is useful or until it becomes a liability, whichever comes first. This is often the same day.
5. Your Rights
You may request access to, correction of, or deletion of your personal information by emailing privacy@vandelay-industries.app. Requests are honored within 30 days, or 3 years, or upon the signing of a non-disclosure.
6. Third Parties
We share data with third parties when legally required, when a court appears, or when the third party has a compelling pitch and a good letterhead.
7. Changes to This Policy
We may update this policy whenever the mood arises. If a change materially affects you, we will let you know in writing, on letterhead, in a tone of confidence.
8. Questions
If you have questions about this policy, contact us via our contact page. Be advised that our privacy officer is the same person as our compliance officer, our import officer, and, on some afternoons, our export officer.
Legal note: We don't want your information, we don't collect it, we don't fondle it.. we don't want it.